I Will Survive (The MFA Residency)

Bowdoin College

At first I was afraid, I was petrified! Sorry, I’m in a musical mood today.  Last week, I returned home from a hectic but amazing experience known simply as “residency” amongst the Stonecoast community.  It’s an intense 10 day experience where us low-res MFA students attend various readings, lectures, workshops, and more to mark the beginning of a new semester (unless you’re graduating – then there’s probably more insanity to be had than a regular residency).  I started with Stonecoast back in January of this year, so this is my second time attending a residency but my first time spending it at Bowdoin College in Brunswick, Maine.  I learned a lot about the craft of writing during my stay.  However, I learned a few things about myself as a person and as a writer, too.  In honor of David Letterman, here’s a top 10 list of my self-discoveries during this summer residency:

1. As a native of Southern California, I’m spoiled when it comes to air conditioning.  Maine is hot and sticky during summertime, but most buildings don’t have air conditioning because it’s frickin’ cold 90% of the year.  The first half of residency made me feel like I was in the jungles of the Philippines.  Except there were lobsters.  You won’t find lobsters in the jungle.  I should know, I’ve looked.
2. I’m addicted to Mexican food.  The cafeteria meals were hit or miss.  By the end of the residency, I was craving some real Mexican food, like tacos al pastor or tacos de lengua, paired with a cool, refreshing glass of cantaloupe agua fresca.  It was a pretty bad craving, like Homer Simpson, moaning, mouth unhinged, saliva gushing like a fountain, bad.
3. I don’t like thunder and lightning.  There was a very active thunderstorm during my last night in Maine.  Sure, we get thunderstorms in LA once in a rare while.  But I don’t think I’ve seen the sky light up like the Battle of New Orleans before.  On the way home from dinner, I hoped our car wouldn’t get struck by lightning and send us back to 1985.
4. I love lobster rolls.  They taste best when the lobster is dressed simply (no two-piece suits here) and stuffed into a fresh-baked, buttery roll.  I now understand why Poseidon gave up the seat of Olympus for the teeming sea instead.  I wonder, though.  I’ve seen some of his statues in art history class.  How does that guy maintain a six pack? If I were god of the sea, I’d be so fat from feasting on lobster I’d probably float back to shore.
5. I drink more coffee during residency than I do during the six months preceding it.  Don’t get me wrong.  I love coffee.  I used to have a cup twice a day until health issues changed my habits from daily to about weekly (or longer).  During residency, however, coffee (or caffeine in general) becomes a necessity.  It’s like college all over again, except I’m not gulping jugs of Mountain Dew at midnight to pull an all-nighter while tweaking in the study lounge with other hopeless procrastinators.  Thank Poseidon those days are finished.
6. I can conquer my stage fright.  I’m terrified of public speaking, even moreso when the audience consists of my writing brethren.  During one of the student open mic sessions, I read an excerpt from one of my short stories (first time sharing my work), complete with character voices and a British accent.  I figured, if I’m going to fail, I might as well fail spectacularly.  To my surprise, the reading went over better than I expected.  And I didn’t pass out! Double flawless victory!
7. I can write comedy.  That’s something I would have never imagined myself stating before.  I can be a funny guy in person.  I enjoy making friends and family laugh with my silly antics and weird observations.  It comes naturally.  But I don’t think having a sense of humor can translate easily to the written word.  And it doesn’t.  I wrote a humor piece for the first time and had tons of fun doing it, yet I struggled to put the story together.  However, based on some positive feedback from workshop and the open mic, I think I’m off to a good start.  In a few more years, maybe Ricky Ricardo will finally let me be part of his act at the Tropicana.  One can dream.
8. I can trump my introverted nature.  I was a shy, quiet kid growing up.  Even now as an adult, I’m not always outgoing.  At residency, though, something magical happens when you push a bunch of (mostly) introverted people into social situations.  Things like late-night pizza runs, boardgame parties, karaoke at a local bar, and other fun events are constantly happening.  Myers-Briggs be damned!
9. I appreciate naps.  A lot.  Sleep is a rare, elusive creature during residency, kind of like the majestic Yeti.  So white and fluffy! There’s plenty of awesome stuff crammed into a single day; it’s hard to get enough rest.  However, taking naps whenever the opportunity arose allowed me to recharge my batteries and prevent me from transforming into an angry Yeti with a strong desire to tear a poor, unsuspecting hiker from boot to boot (a sad fate, especially after he spent all that money buying footwear at LL Bean).
10. Writing is often a solo act, but I love being part of a writing community.  Spending time surrounded by fellow writers who are passionate about the craft helps me stay inspired and excited about the process.  Even when I think my own writing is crap, I love hearing others discuss their work, from unsuspecting cannibals to black market food smugglers.  There are some amazing stories brewing at Stonecoast.  I hope my writing will continue to grow and change, just so I can keep up.

With the residency over, it’s time to switch gears as I enter the one-on-one mentoring stage of the semester.  With a brand new writing project (humor short stories in different genres!) and mentor (Theodora Goss!), I’m excited to see where this next leg of the MFA adventure will take me.  Hopefully, it’ll be someplace with air conditioning.

Stay frosty!

–LA

PS: While I’ve never seen lobsters in a jungle before, I have seen crabs! Here’s one I managed to snap a picture of while doing some light hiking through the rainforests of Dominica.

Title Quote: “I will Survive” and “At first I was afraid / I was petrified” – lyrics from the song “I Will Survive” by Gloria Gaynor